Life is messy, people are irrational and nothing is perfect. All things considered, I am still here. Turning 41 today has been great and has been a time of reflection. When I turned 40, I had a sudden sense of dread because my “list” was not done. I had a list of “should have dones” I felt were mandatory to have completed before my birthday. Needless to say I didn’t finish it. What was I going to do? I wanted to have these things checked off and done. I felt like this list equated success and since it was incomplete I was somehow unsuccessful. After sitting in the feeling of dread for a while, I finally decided what I was going to do. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! I decided to live instead. Don’t misunderstand me, I am an organized person who likes to plan but I no longer wanted to equate success or happiness with things or a list. I gave myself permission to not be so rigid, but instead take life as it comes. By the grace of God, hard work and a great support system, I have overcome many obstacles in life. I have and will continue to help people along the way because I feel like that is the reason we are here. That is success.
I leave you with this short poem I wrote in honor of turning 41 today. I am excited about what the next year has to bring. I know there will be wrong turns, detours, delays and maybe even some stop signs. Life is a journey and I am constantly learning and growing. I will survive it and be a better person for it.
I didn’t get the promotion, but I still have JOBS, I am okay.
I didn’t get the house I thought I wanted at the time, but I have a fabulous place and a roof over my head, I am okay.
I didn’t get the date I thought I was not going to be able to survive without, I am okay.
I have defeated some Goliath’s this year that I never thought I could face, I am okay.
Thank you God for not giving me what I thought I wanted, but what I needed instead. I am more than okay…. I am truly blessed.