I looked at my calendar today and I have so many appointments this month, I should literally think about sleeping in my car. HS seems to be the thread that is affecting all of the goings on in my body. I ended up going to see my GI doctor last week. I knew there was something wrong with my stomach. HS affects every part of my body. Fast forward to diverticulitis, CT scan and possible colonoscopy, I am just over everything. Some days it’s like all I have time for is to be sick. It can be a bit much sometimes. Can’t I just stress out over the “normal” stuff like everyone else?
There are times when I look up from own life to try to participate in living among others and it can be overwhelming too. I want to do so much, but I don’t have the energy. I have so many plans to cook, clean, volunteer, dance, date and write letters the old fashioned way. Yeah, if I do at least one of those things each day, I have literally won! Not everyone understands how HS basically dictates almost everything in your life. So now we have had Harvey and Irma and all their devastation. Now I think there are two other storms coming too! Sheesh! Donating and prayer does not seem to be enough, but it’s all I can do right now. Don’t even try to watch the news because if it’s not about politics it’s about the looming possibility of war. Having a son in the U.S. Army comes with its own anxiety. Traffic accidents, robberies, assaults, inclement weather, job stress, life stress, climate control, financial stress it’s a wonder anyone can literally get out a bed each day. There is so much going on in the world and we should all be tired.
So when do we take a mental break before our mind, body and soul does it for us? Honestly, there is not a designated time so we take the little moments as they come. As I writing this post, I am doing one of my favorite things. I am listening to Insecure on the television laughing as if it is the first time I am watching. After this, I plan to go to my room and turn on my sound machine and listen to the ocean while I read. I have learned the hard way, if you don’t dump the day, you wake up the next morning and repeat it.